Can’t We All Just Get Along

“The hardest obstacles we face in life can break us, make us strong, or both.  I learned that sometimes one has to be broken down in order to be rebuilt.” ~ Jennifer Lightburn 5/17/2014

 

It was a beautiful, hot summer’s day, but the white walls of my office were cold, as was the draft that flowed through the vents on the ceiling, which forced me to blast my space-heater.  Still, I could hear the increased volume of Mohammad and Verna, through the hallway and walls of her office. 

“I want to make a formal complaint,” Mohammad demanded.

That’s when I clicked the volume icon to turn down my music.

“I heard your complaint, and I’ll look into it,” Verna replied.

“No, I’m not done.”

“Yes, you are.”

“We have a scheduled time, and I haven’t finished telling you,” Mohammad said.

“You’ve told me enough, and I said I’d handle it.  Now I have to go,” Verna said just before her office door opened and she stormed out.

“This is ridiculous!” Mohammad shouted; though, his shout was meeker than most. 

Had I seen tears in his eyes as he walked out? 

What the hell is going on?

I called Tiffany to request permission to forward the receptionist calls.  “She’ll be back in ten minutes, but I’ll be back before then,” I reassured her.

I ran through the office, but that was the norm for me, so I didn’t cause commotion.  I found Mohammad in the warehouse.  His eyes were glossy and he didn’t seem startled when I approached him.

“Is everything ok?”

“Not since Sarah left.  The company has gone down-hill since we hired Verna.  At least Sarah would listen to us.  Verna doesn’t.”

“What happened?”

“You’re a part of HR, so I can tell you,” he said, and we walked outside of the building. 

I stopped to light a cigarette since I was outside.

“No, see that camera.  They can see and hear everything.  Come on,” he said.

I lit my cigarette and followed him. 

It was hot as hell outside, but being under the blue sky and hearing birds chirping and the roar of an airplane flying above, and the vision of green trees, made the dry heat blowing on my skin worth the walk.

“I know they’re trying to fire me.  You don’t have to tell me because I don’t want you to get in any trouble.  I’m the IT Manager.  I know everything,” he said, when we reached the picnic benches.

“So, you told Verna?”

“No, I told her that wanted to file a formal complaint.  Ahmed is harassing me and he’s being discriminatory.”

“How so?”

“Haven’t you noticed that he only wants to hire Indians?”

“Um, aren’t you Indian?”

“Just like all Spanish people aren’t Mexicans, all Asians aren’t Indians.”

I felt ignorant enough at this point, so I wasn’t going to ask what Asia had to do with Indians.  I figured I’d Google it when I got back to the office.

“Asia is the continent and there are many countries in the region,” Mohammad said, obviously seeing the stupid look on my face.

“So, he only likes to hire Indians?  That’s discrimination.”

“Yes, and that’s the only reason he hired Kumar because Kumar is as dumb as a doorknob.  I told Ahmed that Kumar wasn’t qualified but he hired him anyway.  And he hates Muslims.  Every time Ahmed knows it’s time for me to pray, he tasks me with some mundane activity that even doorknob could do.  He follows me when I leave work, and if I just want to take a quick walk outside, I turn around, and there he is.”

“Ok, calm down,” I said, seeing anger in Mohammad’s eyes, for the first time, of the most peaceful man I knew. 

To Be Continued…

Don't Give Creditors Your Checking Account Information!

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged because I’ve been looking for a job, and those of you who know me, know that I’m a comic in training.  However, today, today I had to take time out to get a load off my chest.

I was bamboozled, hoodwinked, and led a stray! 

But it was my own fault because I gave my checking information to a creditor.

If you haven’t guessed it, by the title, that’s the topic – what can happen if you give a creditor your account information.

I was trying to do the right thing.  It was my debt.  I owned it.  Because of this debt, I’m a proud college graduate.  Go Terpins!

I gave the student loan collection agency, Performant Corporation, my account information when I was employed.  If I could turn back time!

I’ve been trying to get Performant to grant me an unemployment forbearance since December 2013.

$374 bucker-ooze a month!

For many of my friends and family, that’s not a lot of money, but when unemployment is $379 a week, and you’ve got a child, mortgage, and a car note on top of everything else, that’s a lot of freaking money!

I explained the situation to Bank of America when $374 was deducted in February, and they refunded that amount as a courtesy.

I was told by the B&A account representative that the only thing I could do was close my account. 

I went to the B&A Sterling branch and was told that closing my account would be counter-productive because if a deposit hits my account, the account will automatically reopen.

I called, emailed and faxed additional documentation to Performant, yet they deducted $374 out of my account in March.

I knew I had an unemployment check coming in (which would reopen the account), so I requested that B&A put a stop payment on the amount $374 and the next sequential check number.

I pitched a fit, but I maintained self-control when I saw that $374 had been deducted in April.

I spoke to two B&A customer service agents before I spoke to Shawn, who explained, ‘Someone at B&A should have advised me to freeze my account, and blocked the vendor name.’ 

“No one, said that to me, and I’ve been dealing with this since February,” I said to Shawn, who reassured me that I would be credited for March and April!

Praise God!

So, you can imagine my dismay when I was transferred to the Fraud department and was told that I was given misinformation.  

‘You were told to close your account and you chose not to, so we are not responsible for your loss,’ the agent, Linda, said, in a nutshell.

I explained how the Sterling Branch Manager said it would be “counter-productive,” how I’ve been going around and around, given misinformation, and I’ve called, emailed, went into the branch.

Past tears and beginning a state of rage, I demanded to speak to a manager.

I can’t stand people playing with my money, but being told, ‘here’s your money – yeah – you thought’ was too much for me!

After fifteen minutes of going over a frustrating story, I was told that I would get a form to complete, and B&A would try to get the money from the creditor and if they do, they will refund my account.

“Did you not hear what I said?  You guys told me it would be counter-productive.  You guys cashed the check when I put a stop payment on.  I said put a stop payment on the amount and also the check number.  It’s not my fault that you guys only put the stop payment on the check number.  I didn’t realize until today that you could have frozen my account.  Why wasn’t that done?  I’ve been dealing with this since February; it’s April!  You’ve given me misinformation.  Not all of the information.  B&A is just to blame.  I will accept fighting for March, but you need to refund April today!  It is not my fault that you have untrained representatives working for you.  You tape your calls.  Listen to them.  I was never told you could freeze my account!  I was told twenty minutes ago that I would get March and April refunded and now you want me to fill out a form?  No, I did everything that I was supposed to do.  I want my money!”

“Ok, Ms. Lightburn, I will complete a fraud report and send you the form for March…”

That was yesterday.

I went to close my account at the Sterling Branch office today and was told, “Your account is frozen; you might want to keep it open.  No one can deduct anything.”

Craziness!

Anyway, my entire point of this blog is, keep control over your personal finances by REFUSING TO GIVE CREDITORS YOUR ACCOUNT INFORMATION.

Creditors cannot force you to give them your credit card or checking information, even though, sometimes it seems as if that’s the only option.   

Soul Brothas

She’d swore, if she heard kids cursing or talking down to each other, one more time, she’d turn the vulgar misfits into frogs.  Not long after making that declaration, a five-year-old shouted to another on the playground, “What chu lookin’ at retard!” The old witch grabbed her wand and nearly cast a spell, in front of the other child, but she decided not to send the so-called “retard” running home with tales of witches and crap in his pants.  And she considered that turning the foul-mouth kid into an amphibian would not improve the boy’s respect or manors.

So, later that day, she changed both the ill-mannered child and his father into toads.   She picked them up and zipped them in her pocket until she got home. Into a single jar she put them, and she watched as they tirelessly jumped about.  She scolded them until they finally stopped jumping. 

The father promised, with several croaks, to teach all of his kids, indirectly or otherwise, respect for all people. 

She believed him, as he’d drowned himself with warts. She erased the boy’s memory, knowing what early frog memories could do to a growing mind, and promised to reverse the spell if the father spoke a word to anyone about her. With a twist of her wrist and a point of her wand, they metamorphosed into humans and were spun outside her apartment. 

That afternoon, she decided to take the path along the high school as a short cut to the store to buy worms for her soup.  As she was passing the high school, she saw two teenagers in the parking lot.  She watched as they got into fighter’s stance.  They each had their fists in the air.  Just as both gave each other an uppercut, she twirled her wand.  Lightning struck them and their bodies fell to the ground. 

Stand Up Comedy - Jennifer Lightburn

Jennifer's Bloggin': Joke of the Day - January 28, 2014

Jennifer's Bloggin': Joke of the Day - January 28, 2014: So, the postman knocked on my door.  I don’t have a peephole, so I opened the kitchen window as normal. Postman: Why you not get mail! ...

Joke of the Day - January 28, 2014

So, the postman knocked on my door.  I don’t have a peephole, so I opened the kitchen window as normal.

Postman: Why you not get mail!  Why you not get mail!

Me: Sorry man, I’m looking for a job.

Postman: So, why you not get mail!

Me: It’s just bills, man.

Postman: So, I got to bring your mail to you when you don’t job!?

Me: No.

Postman: So, if I didn't, I’d have to send back to post office, and they return the mail to sender.

Me: Word? Cool. Have a great day!

And I closed my window.

Two interviews tomorrow… Praise God! J

Mom, you won’t believe this… a kid at school didn’t know who Nelson Mandela was…

Me:        Hey baby, I missed you.

Son:       Why? (Looking at me quizzically.)

Me:        I had a productive day and just looked at the clock and knew you were on the way home.

Son:       Oh, ok.  Come give your baby boy a hug.  (I humbly obliged.)

Mom, you won’t believe this… a kid at school didn’t know who Nelson Mandela was…

Me:        Wow.  Well, was the kid white?

Son:       Yeah.  That would really be shame if he was black.

Me:        Was he in your class?

Son:       Yeah. He was the only kid in class that didn’t know about him.  I don’t know why he asked in science, but, uh, he’s really smart.  One of the smartest kids in the class.  That’s why I was so shocked. 

Me:        What did the teacher say?

Son:       That Nelson Mandela was the Martin Luther King of South Africa.

Me:        Good analogy.

Son:       They both fought for peace and equal rights and they both went to jail for it.  But what I don’t get is how white people can just go and take someone’s land.  Black people lived there and white people just came and took it.

Me:        Not only that, but some of those Africans were brought here to slave for the land that the settlers took from the Indians. 

Son:       Wow.

I don’t know why I automatically assumed that the student was white.  I guess because maybe I know that certain history topics were skipped when I went to school, and that a lot of black history I learned was from my family.

The interesting thing to me is that my son and I both spoke with no malice, no content, just the sad true reality, and then he got the leash to walk his dog.