Woman’s Festival

The Women’s Festival during the Memorial Day weekend in Charlottesville, VA was one of the best and worst times of my life.  I’ll start with the best.  I made new friends, and talked around a campfire/ campsite as if I knew them for years.  We told our most intimate secrets and laughed and cried together.  It was truly a three-day love fest.  There were women from every walk of life… the young, middle-aged, elderly, black, white, Spanish, Asian, Indian, Canadian… and all with a common commonality: Women coming together to meet old and new friends, to relax and enjoy a peaceful, fun-filled camping retreat while relishing the music, food and vendors and honoring United States Veterans. 

Though, I got more than my money’s worth by trying not to notice the sunbathers (God love them... I couldn't do it), the music was out of this world.  Watching the musicians play from the afternoon until the stars lit the sky was nothing short of pure delight.  I especially liked Sonia, who I video recorded for your listening pleasure (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgCTXPAmdRc).  She is a hint of soul, a splash of folk and a sprinkle of blues.  All of which make perfection.  Ellis was awesome as well and very personable.  At present, I don’t typically like folk music, but she combines a beautiful voice, stupendous ability to pluck at strings, along with a goofy laugh that would make even a homophobe smile (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBqeHs1rScg). 

Now, I’ll speak of the dreadfulness.  Although I didn’t have to haul all the camping gear (tent, sleeping bags, tarps, pillow, lanterns, barbeque pit, dishes, food, bug spray, water, clothes, alcoholic beverages, cigarettes, etc.) to the wooded site, because the crew attached a trailer to their three-wheeler and hauled it, I did have to put up the tent (and then later tear it down).  OMG!  Who do they get to write the instructions… foreign exchange students!  And a little hint of advice, always, and I mean ALWAYS come with enough daylight because there is no switch you can flick in the middle of the wilderness.  And please remember to bring a battery operated fan because there is no AC.  Also, you may want to be cute, but makeup and hot sweltering temperatures do not match.  And finally, there will be bugs and LOTS of them, including flying roaches (hence the worst time of my life), so bring plenty of bug spray. :0) All in all, I was a trooper and I roughed it out and became one with the wilderness.  All my bug bites can attest to that fact.

It’s sad to admit, I was a Brownie and a Girl Scout, but camping is not for me.  Still, I would come back to Camp Out every year, but next year, I might cut back on some bugs and stay in a cabin!  There's no shame in my game!  Bottom line, I had such a great time.  I'll have memories that will last a lifetime. 

Sometimes I Get Afraid

I’m afraid of who I am and who I want to be

I’m afraid of failing to live up to my responsibility

I’m afraid of not being able to provide everything my son needs

I’m afraid of losing my job and not making ends meet

I’m afraid of falling in love and being another casualty

Sometimes I get afraid, even though, I’m the epitome of a strong woman

Holding it down; alone, to myself I have proven

I’m a mover and a shaker and I’m constantly moving and shaking

Making eye contact even when my insides are trembling

Standing tall and smiling even when my psyche is wilting

 

Yes, I've suffered the most deplorable pain.

And this indeed has made me afraid.

But I never give up!

To Tell Or Not To Tell

My son said he didn't feel well and asked if he could stay home.  I took him to the doctor because, honestly, I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t pulling the wool over my eyes, even though, that’s not like him.  Turns out he has strep throat.  I felt bad for even thinking he was playing me, but he is my son, and when I was young, I’d mixed up a concoction and put it on the toilet and act like I was going to keel over just to stay home for a day and have the TV to myself.  (We only had one TV and I was the youngest.)

So, I go to Safeway and turn in my son’s prescription, semi-grateful that I can take a day off of work (sad I know).  Fifteen minutes later, I pick it up and immediately know that it’s the wrong prescription.  The bag is rattling and the prescription should be liquid.  I tell the pharmacist (who has to be not a day younger than seventy five) of his mistake, and he shuffles through several bags to get the right medicine.  Then he tries his damndest to refund the difference of what I paid.  He’s pushing all kinds of buttons, swiping his card, but the drawer won’t open.  He asked a young woman who works beside him for her help and she rattles off some instructions with a frustrated tone.  He starts pushing and swiping again.  Still nothing.  So the young woman comes to the cash register and hits a few buttons and then says in an ill manner, “Why are you acting like this is the first time you’ve done a refund?”  He then replies, “I probably shouldn’t be working in the pharmacy.”

After my initial outrage of the woman, who obviously had a thorn in her ass for speaking to an elder like that, I thought, fuck!  I was thinking the same thing.  This man does not need to be distributing medicine.  Not because of his age, but because this is the second time the pharmacist gave me the wrong prescription.  I let it go the first time because everyone makes mistakes and I didn’t want him to get fired.  But this isn't any ordinary mistake - like emailing the wrong file.  Someone may not be so lucky and, without even looking at the label, trust that the medicine they received is correct.  I immediately recalled, a kid that died two years ago in Leesburg, VA, right up the road, when he was given the wrong prescription.  

To tell or not to tell.  I asked three people, and they all agreed.  Tell before he accidentally kills or hurts someone. 

Ugh! 

Can’t Win for Lose

I liked my boss.  He was a refreshing change from the man I had to deal with six months prior.  Oh, my previous boss, before Mac Daddy, had it in for me from day one.  Since I can’t name names, we’ll refer to him as Mr. Charlie.  Mr. Charlie couldn’t stand me.  I didn’t know if it was because I was black or because I was a woman in a predominately man’s role: project manager of a construction site.  Didn’t know shit about construction, but I knew how to schedule work and make sure it got done on time and under budget.  And because I looked cute in Levis and Timberlands, the guys always worked extra hard.  It didn’t matter that I was getting bonds released, Mr. Charlie would send me nasty-grams via email at three and four o’clock in the morning.  By what he said and the way he said it… unable to string a coherent sentence together, I knew he was lit up.  When I asked him about his emails, he’d start yelling, cussing and turning beet red.  He told me that I made him feel unworthy.  When I politely told him that I can’t make him feel like shit; that he made himself feel that way, I got called into HR.  Never mind he cussed me out for five minutes beforehand.  But HR always had my back and ended up reprimanding him.  They finally got rid of Mr. Charlie, or actually, he got rid of himself, coming in the office red-eyed and liquored up as if he had no damn sense.  They replaced him with Mac Daddy.

Oh, Mac Daddy, was the five foot four, Vanilla Ice of the office.  He was married to Mary Poppins, but everyone knew he liked to drink his coffee black.  If there was a sistah in sight, Mac Daddy was not too far behind.  At first we got along well.  He respected the fact that I could do my job without a construction background, and he actually started teaching me about land development.  But then he got too comfortable and started asking me about my personal life.  Why I didn’t have a boyfriend?  If I liked women?  And as he’d ask me these questions, he looked at me like I was pork chops with gravy and extra soft buttery biscuits.  I told him that the topic was unprofessional and made me uncomfortable, but that only seemed to turn him on all the more.  And then one day, like a kid in the eighth grade, he said to another co-worker right in front of me, “she likes to play with her own team”.  I wanted to get undignified and stoop down to an unbearable level.  That’s when I knew, it was time to go.  Oh, there’s more to this story than this, but I’d better stop here.  Bottom line, can’t win for lose.

Murder in Queen County - By Jennifer Lightburn

If you read Seasons Change, you're probably wondering why I didn't go into great detail about what happened when Annette learned about her grandfather.  That's because that's a story by itself.

Chapter One 

The architecture of Queen County resembled the setting of Mulberry.  And even though, Monica drove slowly down the quaint street, Annette clutched the passenger arm rest.  Ever since she saw Mississippi Burning, southern towns made her nervous, especially since there wasn’t a black person to be found.  Not even a Mexican.  Instead, she saw variations of Gomer, Andy, Barney and Aunt Bea, and everything in the town looked old and worn-down, including the dirty kids that ran across the street in bare feet, the old man rocking in his chair with a pipe in his mouth, and the bitter-looking woman standing on a ladder wiping down the store window with newspaper.  But what caught both Annette’s and Monica’s attention was the way that people stared at them as they drove by. 

“They act like they’ve never seen a black and white person drive together in the same car,” Monica said, wiping away perspiration that made her blonde hair stick to her forehead.

“I think it’s your car,” Annette replied.

Monica nodded, as she drove by an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, a Chevrolet Impala, a Ford Torina Cobra.  There wasn’t a car on the street a day newer than 1980, except for Monica’s 2007 BMW.  “Could be,” she said, turning down the heater.  “Let me know if you get cold.  I’m burning up.”

The anxiety of new surroundings and unease of finding out the truth about her grandfather kept Annette’s blood pressure elevated, so she too was experiencing a heat flash. 

“Let’s try to find a hotel,” Annette said, just as a Sherriff’s car swerved in front of them with his siren on.  “Where you driving over the speed limit?”

“In this old country town?  Hell no!  I made sure of that,” Monica said.

The Sherriff got out of his car with his hand firmly on his firearm. 

Monica rolled down the window.  “What seems to be the problem officer?”

“License and registration, ma’am,” the Sherriff said with an accent that sounded as if he was from deep in the Appalachian Mountains of Tennessee.

To be continued...

How do you stop the pain that shatter’s your life after being the victim of domestic abuse?

I had to do some grass roots networking and so I went to the mall and started shaking hands and passing out business cards, telling anyone who would listen about my book.  I told a young and quite beautiful woman that my book was about a woman getting her life together after being the victim of domestic abuse.  She said to me, “Thanks for writing a book about us for us.”  She was also a victim of abuse and said she knew a lot of women who would appreciate the story.    

Being a victim of domestic abuse is painful, and the pain comes at you in the most inopportune times.  Something triggers a memory and you have a flashback of that moment when you were at your most vulnerable, and you can’t shake the dread.  It consumes you like the flu does to your immune system.  You find yourself shivering profusely, getting feverish and all worked up.  You even think about inflicting the same kind of pain that was inflicted on you.  At that very moment you believe it would alleviate the frustration… that is until you’re sitting in a cage with your hands chained behind your back.  No, sister-girl, some things are not worth going to jail over. 

So, how do you get rid of the pain?  I’m not a therapist.  I can only speak from experience.  The long and short answer is: time.  If you’re a praying person, that helps too.  Try to get involved in activities to keep your focus off your ex.  Self-improvement is always the best bet (i.e. taking classes, exercising, eating right). 

It’s so easy to just give into the pain.  You might even start telling yourself things that you don’t need to hear.  I’m fat.  I’m ugly.  I’m dumb.  I’m uneducated.  I deserved it.  If I would have…  It doesn’t matter if you are the most beautiful girl in the world.  A zim zam fool is going to be a zim zam fool. 

Focus on you.  And every time you start that negative self-talk, say twice as many good things about yourself to combat it.  Yes, I may be overweight, but I don’t always have to be.  I can lose the weight.  I am beautiful.  I am smart. 

Some people have to jump right back into another relationship in order to feel good.  Give yourself some time to heal or your new partner will feel the pain that your old partner left behind.  Now, I’m not advocating sleeping around, it's best just to take a step back in that department.  But getting your grove on is not the same as jumping into another relationship, so if you need to feel someone’s body against yours, do your thing, sister-girl, but be careful.  You don’t want to lay down with a dog and wake up with fleas!! 

The best thing that you can do to get over the pain is to eliminate it.  That means, letting calls go to voice mail.  Returning calls via voice mail and email.  You don’t need to meet up for lunch to discuss anything.  You need to just walk away.  (If you have kids, they don't need to hear the craziness).  You can communicate without having to do it in real time.  Unless it’s an emergency, a minute or two or three isn’t going to make a difference.  Luckily we live in the computer age with a multitude of technology at our fingertips.  Your ex may not appreciate the fact that you don’t jump when he/she says so, so be careful and don’t get cocky.  But it’s certainly ok to find joy in the fact that it irritates your ex that you’re not feeding into his/her nonsense.  Be the better person and don’t argue, fuss or fight.  And in time… weeks, months, years, you’ll feel better, and the pain  won't be so easily recalled.

** Jennifer Lightburn is the author of Seasons Change ** Available at Amazon.com.  http://www.jenniferlightburn.com/

How to Create a Video Trailer Using Pictures/Graphics and Microsoft Movie Maker by Jennifer Lightburn

I've received many emails and posts about my video trailer.  Many have asked who actually created my video trailer.  I did it myself.  I was actually going to pay someone to create a video trailer for me, but being financially-challenged and coming across a website in which elementary school students created their very own video trailer as a "book report," I said to myself, "how hard can it be?"

It really wasn't that hard.  It was mostly time consuming. 

The first step is to think of your book in terms of a movie, as if you're creating a movie trailer.  What images come to your mind?  You need to know this because you're going to essentially create a storyboard.  Jot down the images that come to mind, the characters, the message.  The message is critical, especially if you're using graphics / pictures because it's the message (the text you write) that helps tell the story. 

Next you have to decide if you're going to video tape scenes with your camcorder or if you'll use text and graphics to illustrate the scenes.  Because I was on a serious budget, I decided to use text and graphics. 

There are websites that allow you to download royalty free video, texts and graphics.  You still have to pay (a nominal fee) for the download, but you're allowed to use them in your "advertisement" without paying a royalty; still make sure you read the stipulations of each website. 

Finding the right graphics and music can take hours.  It literally took me four hours to find the right music for my video trailer.  I wanted something upbeat, with a rock and blues flare, and I wanted it to be no more than a minute.  Most people won't spend a bunch of time viewing a long, drawn-out video.  In this day and age, you need to get to the point and at the same time keep the interest. 

Characters.  You know who they are and what they look like.  Still, finding the right photo/graphic is not easy.  Make a list of the characters that you want in your video trailer.  Make sure that when you're surfing the net, you write down the identification number of the graphic as well as the website in which you saw it.  (Do the same with your music because finding it later will make you pull your hair out.  Take it from me J)

Now, there are all kinds of video production software out there.  If you're fortunate to have Avid or Final Cut Pro, more power to you.  On my nickle and dime budget, I chose Microsoft's Movie Maker because it was already on my computer.  (If you don't have it, you can download a free copy at http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/downloads/updates/moviemaker2.mspx). 

If you haven't already: save your graphics and music in the same folder.  It just makes things easier. 

When you open Media Player, there are three sections on top: Movie Tasks, Collections, and the video player.  Below that you'll find the storyboard. 

On the left side of the screen (Under Movie Tasks) choose, Import Audio or Music.  Find the folder in which the music is located and double click on it.  It will be placed in your collection.

Next, on the left side of the screen (Under Movie Tasks), choose import picture (or video).  You can push the <CTRL> key and click on each picture (or video) to select multiple and then click on import.  All of your pictures / videos will be imported into your collection.  (You should be able to see your collection, but if you can't, just click on COLLECTION on the menu bar.)

Now, click on Show Timeline (directly above the Storyboard) on the lower half of your screen so you see Video, Transition, Audio, Title Overlay and Audio / Music on the left side of the screen. 

Drag the Audio file from the collection to the Audio / Music section of the story timeline. 

Drag the pictures in order (of your storyboard) to the video section. 

Save your file.

Next, you're going to edit your movie by adding pages that will allow you to enter text (for story-telling purposes).  Click on "make titles or credits".

You have the chose to enter a page on, before or after your graphic.  For example, to enter a text page after your graphic, click on "Add title after the selected clip in your timeline."  Type in the text.  Under more options, you can choose the color and font, as well as the title animation (animation - how your text scrolls onto the page) by highlighting the text and clicking either option (Change the title animation or Change the text font and color).  After you've finished formatting the text, click "Done, add title to movie."  Do this same process throughout your storyline. 

Save your file.

Now, that you've added all of your text pages, click on "Show storyboard".  You see that there are small boxes between each scene (large box).  This is where you're going to add your video transitions (how each scene scrolls onto your page).  Under "Edit Movie" (on the movie task pane), click on "Video Transitions".  Double-click the transition so you know what it does and then drag and drop the ones you want to use into the small box between each scene. 

Save your file.

Click on Show Timeline.

Now, here's the hard part... getting the music, text and graphics to flow together.  This could literally take a couple hours.  First you'll need to click on the clip and then drag the red arrow to the left to trim the timing of the clip.  Do this to every clip until your audio and video are the same length in the timeline, as you don't want your audio to end earlier than your clips.  (You can adjust the timing of the clips later).

Save your file.

Now, push play (on the media player) to see your video.  Listen to the music and determine when you want your clip to transition to the next clip.  You're just going to have to play with the clips but increasing and decreasing each one (clicking on the clip and moving the red arrow). 

If after you've adjusted the story timeline, and you still need the slightest modification of time, click on “Show Storyboard”, you'll notice a small box to the left of every clip.  Right click that box.  Choose Video Effects.  These effects can help adjust the timing of the clips (i.e. slow down / half, smudge stick, speed up / double).  Drag the transition into the small box to the left of the clip.  Again, this process could take a couple hours.  You might have to walk away for a minute.  J

Save your file.

When you're done, click on save to my computer and enter the file name and location. 

You will be so pleased because you made your video trailer yourself.  I certainly was proud when I finished my video trailer.  Please take a look at it at http://www.jenniferlightburn.com.

I hope this was of some help!!

Sincerely,

~ Jennifer