Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Jennifer's Bloggin': Please

Jennifer's Bloggin': Please: I want to live a happy life. I want to be in love. I want to be Mrs. Dieng. I want to take care of my family. I want you to be the ...

Please


I want to live a happy life. I want to be in love. I want to be Mrs. Dieng. I want to take care of my family. I want you to be the man of the house. I want you and Isaiah to get along and even be friends. He doesn't need a father - he already has one, but I want you to help him be a better boy, and give him an example of what it means to be a good man. I want him to show you that he can listen and learn. I want to learn more about your culture. I want to speak to you in your tongue. I want to take care of you when you're old and grey, as you take care of me. I want you to trust that me and Isaiah respect you. I want peace. I want you to love me and feel comfortable enough to tell me. I want to live a happy life.
I know what I want, and I'm willing to be patient, but I need you to be patient too. Please.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Sticks and Stones

Dear Marco,

 I only know one side of the story, but I do want to offer my apologies for the words that Levon used yesterday.  He said that he was frustrated because you’d hit him in class and then started talking smack about it ever since.  I know that Levon can defend himself, so I'm sure he didn't want to cause attention and get either of you in trouble, but the jab pissed him off.  He wanted you to feel the way he was feeling, and he dug deep.  Too deep!

Levon is not prejudice and narrow minded.  He understands the struggles that people go through to come to this country to make a living for their family.  He knows because we talk about it.  And he has been raised to appreciate and respect everyone until they give reason not to. 

Friends know what buttons to push and that’s why they push them.  I know Levon will think twice before he expresses himself.  Just as I hope you won’t call anyone an African monkey again.  I don’t blame you.  He called you illegal, but two wrongs don’t make a right. 

The way I see it, you were both wrong, and you both need to apologize to each other and move on. 

You know I think you’re a great guy.  I always will, regardless of if you and Levon stay friends. 

I hope you both learned a lesson.  Sticks and stones can break your bones and words can f*ck everything up. 

Keep your hands to yourself man, and I promise that Levon will not come off foul to you again.  It’s not in his nature. 

I hope you have a great day! 

Sincerely,

Miss J

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Military Deaths and Accidental Suicides

I’m surprised that male-to-male rapes in the military have not received a great deal of media attention.  I would assume it’s because many of the victims would not or could not come forward with their charge of military-on-military assault.  I’ve read that rape is about power and control and exerting a dominant force.  For the male victim, I would speculate that it’s a source of shame and feeling as if they’ve been robbed of their manhood. 
Though it’s not in anyone’s best interest, I totally understand why one would self-medicate on drugs and alcohol.  A flashback of rape could be just as bad or worse as seeing combat death, as it’s a death of another sort… a death of pride and self-respect, which is the epitome of military character. 
I can’t speak for all men, but from my life experience, it seems as if men aren’t as forthcoming as women with their feelings, so psychotherapy could be a long and costly (but necessary) process. 

Keeping such a dreadful experience secret would obviously be as detrimental to one’s mind as releasing the ugly truth.  I wouldn’t be surprised if reports found that many assailants were victims.  I wouldn’t be surprised if victims started to take matters into their own hands if they felt that justice would not prevail.

Regardless of no longer fearing losing one’s job due to sexual orientation, I’m sure that some victims are afraid of being labeled as homosexual and that keeps them from coming forward.  I’m sure they’re afraid of military retaliation and/or fraternization, which keeps them quiet.  I’m sure these veteran-victims are raging with anger and disgust because they were attacked by a comrade. 

I do hope the military really dives into figuring out how to reduce military-on-military assault, which reasonably seems like one [of many] causes of the accidental deaths and suicides in the military.  We need to do a better job with protecting our veterans because it’s the right thing to do.  After all, these are the people that fight, govern and die so that we are safe and protected. 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-peoples-professor/201208/the-other-war-military-suicides-and-accidental-deaths?goback=%2Egmp_2788736%2Egde_2788736_member_236364079

Note: My LinkedIn comment regarding the above link